I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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