then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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