Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
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Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
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We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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