i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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