sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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