I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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