Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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