I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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