woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
