i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
