dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
