They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
