Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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