i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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