I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
