i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
