Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
