You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
