Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You're a waste of cheezeits
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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