just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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