He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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