I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
