she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
