if you like me you must not know who I am
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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