A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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