so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
