Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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