Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
