so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just want nice things and good sex
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
