this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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