ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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