hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I bet he comes in French.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
there is glitter all over my balls
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
