He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
