Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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