Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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