just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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