dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
