Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
