I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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