I'm gonna have a badass scar
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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