Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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