I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
