i don't like sucking hair
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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