MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
