found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
