Banned from zoo.
Again?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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