I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
