i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
