I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
