My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
