woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
