Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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