dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
