Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
