You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
