Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
