My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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