He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You're breaking my sexual little heart