We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
