omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did