am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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