i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
