I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
