What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How external is "for external use only"?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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