dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
