I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
